So many books have been written, studies recorded and self-help mantras repeated having to do with the basic psychology of the human condition and specifically with trying to answer the questions of, “why we do what we do”.
If we can understand our actions we can control them, right? Sort of.
My time spent trying to learn from all the experts has taught me some things. First, they’re all right, mostly, but they all seem to forget some things. A lot of the people that seeks out help and understanding do so from underneath the heavy blanket of a regular job. The reason this is important to mention is that a lot of what I’ve learned boils down to a simple fact: We do what we want to do because we like the way it feels and we avoid doing what we don’t want to do because we don’t like the way it feels. Sounds so simple, right? Well here’s the issue. If we could always live our lives that way then we might be ok but that assumes that there are no outside variables affecting our abilities to do what we want to do and to avoid doing what we don’t want to do. 99% of the people reading this are understanding me immediately. For most people more than 50% of our day is devoted to doing what we don’t want to do but we have to – a job…working for someone else. Of course another 25% is sleep and that only leave, realistically, an hour or two in a night to do what we want to do.
What I’m saying is that we spend so much time doing what we don’t want to do but we have to do – that when we start to have choices as to what to do, we choose only what we want to do. Confused? Think of it this way – all day long, 5 or so days a week you do what someone else tells you to do. You do it because you have to, you need to pay the bills. So after 50-80 hours a week of doing what you don’t want to but you are told to then all of a sudden you have 2 days a week to be in control. My feeling is that during those two days you probably don’t want to do much of anything unless it involves extreme pleasure – something, or a combination of things, that counteract the hours and days you’ve just spent doing what you didn’t want to do.
For some this means drinking, using drugs, playing sports, watching sports, television or movies, and even excessive sleeping. Now don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying you shouldn’t be doing things to relax, de-stress, unwind and exercise in your down time but my overall point here is that in the time that is yours, the time that you own, you are not doing enough, if anything, to be productive and to set yourself up to thrive in your life by making accomplishments and being happy.
The point it – if you do enough during the time you do have during the week to be in a place where you don’t need extreme de-stressing on the weekend then you can still enjoy yourself but also do things that help you to move you forward in life and make progress on that other thing in life that will bring you true happiness, success and wealth.
So MASTER POINT #1: Don’t let the stress build up during the week and you won’t need to spend the whole weekend relieving it.
Having a weekend open with possibilities and potential will make your Monday a day full of energy, expectations and hope instead of a day filled with depression, exhaustion and remorse.
I’ll give you specific exercises, worksheets and reminders on how to do this as well as how to “prepare” yourself for the weekend that is coming up so that once it arrives you are already ahead of the game.
